Accountability Partners

Below are resources for accountability partners:
Biblical Reasons for Accountability
How to find a partner
Your First Session
How to do Weekly Check-ins

Biblical Reasons for Accountability

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16).

Christians are called to destroy the sin in their lives and to become Holy like God. Sin is forgiven when it is confessed to God alone:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

An accountability partner is someone who helps us to wrestle with sins that are affecting our daily lives or relationships. Each person in the partnership holds the other responsible for goals that they set to move away from sin. They celebrate their victories and confess their failures.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)

How to Find an Accountability Partner

Your accountability partner should be someone who is on a similar maturity level to your own. It needs to be someone you can be completely honest with and who will ask you hard questions. You will need to initiate by asking that person to enter into this partnership with you. It is best to choose someone of the same gender.

Here are some places to look for an accountability partner:
YOUR COMMUNITY GROUP
A LONG-TIME CHRISTIAN FRIEND
A FAMILY MEMBER (outside of your immediate family)
A CHRISTIAN CO-WORKER
A PASTOR OR ELDER

These are people who definitely should NOT be your accountability partner:
YOUR SPOUSE
YOUR CHILDREN
YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR
YOUR SHY FRIEND WHO WON'T PUSH YOU TO BE BETTER

Pick Your Battle

We suggest that you and your accountability partner pick just ONE battle. This battle is one sin or life issue that you are going to work through together. You don't both have to pick the same subject, but it is helpful when you are working together for the same goal.

Here are the most common battles that accountability partners have chosen in the past:

improving my marriage
lust & purity
financial stability
controlling anger
mental health (pick one area: depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.)

First Session: Set S.M.A.R.T Goals

In your first session you and your partner need to set goals. Your goals should be reviewed each time you get together. Look at your battle and set one or two SMART goals that you will work on.

Specific

Make your goal as specific as possible
NOT SPECIFIC: Be kinder
SPECIFIC: hold the door for people every time I enter a building

Measurable

Your goal needs to be something that you do.
NOT MEASURABLE: love my wife better
MEASURABLE: do the dishes three times this week

Attainable

Setting big goals is good but focus on shorter goals.
NOT ATTAINABLE: stop lusting
ATTAINABLE: don't look at porn this week

Relevant

Your goals need to be specific to your issue.
if you are trying to be healthy...
NOT RELEVANT: read 3 books this month
RELEVANT: eat more fruit

Time-Based

Your goals must always have an end point.
NOT TIME-ORIENTED: get married
TIME-ORIENTED: propose to my girlfriend in March

Here are some examples of battles paired with SMART goals.

improving my marriage--I am going to buy my wife flowers twice this week, and do the dishes on Friday and Saturday.
lust & purity--I am going to delete all the pornography on my computer and install porn blocking software this week.
financial stability--I am going to make a budget before we meet again.
controlling anger--I am going to write in my journal every time I feel angry on Tuesday.
mental health (pick one area: depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.)--I am going to read the first chapter in "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" this week.

Weekly Check-ins

We recommend checking in weekly. Sessions will last about 15-30 minutes, you can even do it over the phone.
Each of you should discuss:
Weekly Wins--how did you achieve your goals this week?
Weekly Defeats--how did you fail your goals this week?
What You Will Change--what will you adjust in your daily life to meet your goals more frequently, or to avoid failing?
Review SMART goals--are the goals you set still working or do they need to be tweaked or changed?
Pray for each other